What Kind of Parent will I be?

When I was pregnant over 5 years ago, I daydreamed about my family and what kind of mom I would be. I had a lot of opinions, ambitions, baggage, and optimism. I knew that I didn’t know it all and at the same time, felt I had it all figured out.

I had an image in my mind and I focused on planning for the kind of mom I’d be. I read books, talked with professionals, and mulled over and ironed out every detail. I was going to do this parenting thing “right”! I had nothing but good intentions.

I bet you can guess what happened next. After my son was born, I quickly understood why so many of us struggle to make our new lives fit into the boxes we prepared prenatally. Those boxes weren’t built for our lives as parents because we didn’t actually know what that life would look like. We didn’t know what it would feel like.

Over the years, little by little, I’ve detached from the parent I wondered if I’d be.

Parenthood has taught me that good intentions are evidence that we care, but the fusion to those ideas can sometimes feel more like the old adage “the path to hell is paved with good intentions”. I’ve learned to approach parenting with a more flexible curiosity. In turn, this has helped me build a life with my family for my family, as opposed to struggling to fit a family into the box I built before I really knew who we were. Now, as a mom of 2, I’m rethinking that box again… looking for the ways I can expand it to help it fit our family now.

For those of you just beginning your journey, by all means, prepare in all the ways you feel called to… and never stop wondering what kind of parent you will be.